by Suzanne Ruff
How’s that for putting a spin on what I call this day?
For me, it’s: My World Changed Never To Be The Same Day!
Mom, you often talked to me, preparing me for your death and about Heaven. That’s one of the good things PKD does – surprising as that sounds! Because of you, I have no ambiguity about life and death. It’s part of what we humans endure whether we have PKD or not!
There was no doubt you were going to heaven. No Darwin theories for you! Also, in that silly way of yours, you made sure I knew there was no way you were going to hell. “I’ve been there and I’m not going back,” was your firm statement. Your awe, reverence and respect for God was/is sincere. You served Him well. The essence of what made you who you were bubbled out of you.
So I’m betting you made God smile, Mom, when you met Him.
I giggled at your list of what you wanted to do in heaven. Did God answer all your questions? You were, of course, very excited to meet God. One of your first questions was to be: “Could I meet my donor? You wanted to buy that wonderful man a beer! Organ donors arrive at their celestial home with a “get into heaven free card!”
When I give a speech about you, I explain that another question you wanted to ask God is, “God, why did you make mice?” Mice made you shudder, jump and run like a cartoon character.
“Wouldn’t it be funny?” I ask the audience, “ if a mouse is how a cure for PKD is discovered?”
Alas! Just like PKD is hereditary, so is that same reaction to mice in your granddaughter and me.
Your zany sense of fun brought much laughter when you described greeting all your friends and loved ones in PKD Heaven. They would meet you at the pearly gate and oh how you believed you’d see them again! The things you would tell them regarding PKD and thank them for helping you with your PKD battle. The progress and availability of dialysis, transplantation, nutrition, blood pressure, and the new drugs will excite them. Tell them the first “Friends Chapter of PKD you and Dad helped form in Chicago has exploded to many Chapters. Support, love and new friends united together, supporting and loving each other.
You had a few serious questions for the dear Lord (as you often called Him). Sad ones. There were some issues you wanted to discuss by asking, “What were You thinking, Lord?”
We talked about how we will not know the answers while we are here on earth. That’s when you told me to let faith kick in. Thank you for this great lesson.
And, of course, there was your love of movies. Naturally you believed in Movie Star Heaven. You couldn’t wait to ask, “Could my sister (our beloved Sister Mike) and I meet John Wayne?” You said you were going to be “mad as hell” if Sister Mike had already met him, but then your blue eyes twinkled saying, “Maybe it’s not good to get mad as hell in heaven?”
I still wish I had been able to say good-bye to you . . . to say I love you one more time. I’ve matured enough to understand and trust that the dear Lord knew what was best for you when it was your day to meet Him. But, oh how I miss you, Mom!
To this day, the doctors in the field of PKD hug me and say, “Your mother was so much fun! And, what a fighter, a stubborn fighter she was, but a fighter!”
Thanks, Mom! I am honored to be your daughter.