Fair is Fair
“The happiest people don’t worry too much about whether life is fair or not, they just get on with it.” ~ Andrew Matthews ~ All of my life, I have become indignant when things are not fair. But, life isn’t fair, is it? I was a shy kid and a follower of rules, so much so that my free-spirited mother used to wonder if I was really her child. I didn’t have her mischievous spunk! When a teacher assigned the class extra homework or canceled a privilege because one disobedient kid misbehaved, it frustrated me that the whole class was punished. But, I did the extra homework and learned to love to learn! Recently, I was in Colorado to help with our daughter’s surgery. The doctor handed me a prescription for her. “Can you call it in to the pharmacy so it will be ready when I pick it up?” I asked. “No, the state of Colorado won’t allow it. Too many people were calling in fake prescriptions.” A few bad apples ruined it for the law-abiding citizens. But, what could I do? I gave thanks for the medicine and grocery shopped while I waited to pick it up. 60 Minutes, the television show exposed Medicare fraud and then did a follow-up story about the exact same story two years later. The fraud had not been corrected. That makes me mad and it’s certainly not fair to the taxpayers. What can I do? I can be sure all Medicare payments/charges are correct in my world. In the world of transplantation, I often hear people talk about fairness and unfairness regarding the “waiting list.” The waiting list contains the names of those people waiting for a life-saving transplant. There is much false information out there, some say movie stars become first on the list (they don’t), or that athletes, billionaires have an edge (they don’t), along with other myths about how the waiting list works. What can I do? Speak up, learn, and read more about the truth at UNOS (the United Network of Organ Sharing) website. https://www.unos.org If you have a loved one on the list, as I had in the past and have now, or perhaps your name is on the list, don’t get discouraged. Tell your story to anyone and everyone. Dig deep and find your faith. Devote yourself to helping find cures and teach others how to live a healthy life to prevent the advance of some diseases, raise awareness to encourage people to become organ donors, and share about the miracle of transplantation. Most of all, give thanks for the gift of each day, each hour, each minute. As we all should . . . because whether life is fair or not, it’s a...
Read MoreAt War with a Family Member? Try a Caress This Year!
Family! Have you noticed the roll of eyes, the grimace and the exasperation we’ve all used at times when “family” is discussed? Other comments include phrases like ‘we can’t live with them; we can’t live without them!’ or the very very impolite phrase ‘You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can’t pick your relatives!’ We’ve all heard the moans and groans when the word ‘family’ is mentioned. The saddest thing to happen within a family is when years go be with family members in a “war” over an issue. Whether it occurred over “a big issue” or something minor is irrelevant. A big issue to someone might be minor to the other person. Feelings were hurt, ugly things were said, appalling behavior was displayed. Distortions, lies, and facts become uglier as time goes by. People not involved in the “war” are uncomfortable and don’t want to be drawn into taking sides. Holidays, anniversaries, celebrations go by. Pope Francis said the secret to healing wounds among family members is to “not end the day in war” and to forgive one another. Ah! Forgive one another. Forgiveness – giving it, receiving it, or even trying it. Ah, how hard it is. What Pope Francis told the crowd in this weekly audience on November 4, was pure genius: In order to forgive, Pope Francis said, “you don’t need to make a great speech; a caress is sufficient and it’s all over: But, do not end the day in war. Understood?” The Catholic Church will begin the Year of Mercy on December 8 and the Pope pointed out, “to rediscover the treasure of mutual forgiveness.” Let us pray so that families may always be more capable of living and building concrete paths of reconciliation, where no one feels abandoned by the weight of their trespasses.” Have a heart and give a caress!...
Read MoreNational Donor Sabbath
Two weekends before Thanksgiving is National Donor Sabbath. This year it is November 13-15, 2015. This three-day observance seeks to include the days of worship for major religions practiced in the United States and to show that major religions support and approve of organ donation. This is the time of year for family gatherings! Years fly by! Family gatherings can be stressful or peaceful depending on each person’s attitude. It always seems to me that once I start counting my blessings, my attitude changes. Change your attitude and your life changes! Being together is a great opportunity for everyone to talk about what they’re thankful for in their lives. Give everyone a pen and a piece of paper and ask them to write down what fills them with gratitude. Put the pieces of paper in a basket and have someone pick another’s gratitude. Then ask the person who selected the gratitude to interview the person who wrote it, asking questions and bringing out their gratitude. It’s fun! Some of the gratitudes will be funny and some will be serious. Because my family has so many transplant recipients, one of the “gratitudes” is always for the donor who has given them life. The fact that a complete stranger died so they could live is impossible to put into words. But, we always try. Most families that gather together will remember a missing family member who has died. Bittersweet! There may be tears, laughter. Sorrow and joy – that’s what organ donation and life have in common. It’s a good time to discuss everyone’s thoughts and wishes regarding what they would like done in the event of a sudden or unexpected death. It’s a good time to discuss both life and death, as hard as that may be. Being together makes it a good day! Because life is fragile, a gift! It is to be...
Read MoreMy cousin Jim . . .
On my Mom’s first day of dialysis, she prayed. Then, being the Irish Catholic that she was, Mom checked her church calendar to see which feast day it was. The calendar said it was the feast of St. Bridget and Mom said, “An Irish Saint! Glory be to God!” Actually, it was the feast day of St. Bridget of Sweden, but Mom didn’t know that and confused it with St. Brigid – one of the patron saints of Ireland and nuns. No matter! Whether it was an Irish saint, St. Brigid of Kildare, or a Swedish saint, St. Bridget, angels watched over Mom during those years. Mom named her fistula, “Bridie.” From that day on and for the ten years dialysis kept Mom alive, the grandchildren petted it and said it purred “like a kitty cat.” Today Mom’s nephew, one of the newborn twins I mention in my book, The Reluctant Donor, begins his first day of dialysis. (See why I wrote The Reluctant Donor?? Polycystic kidney disease goes on and on and on … and not many people know about it.) When the twins were born (over 50 years ago) into a household of six children, Mom went to help her sister, Aunt Mary Jane, with the new babies. Now my twin cousins are grown up with families of their own. Today I’m praying for Jim as he begins dialysis, of course. When I get sick of fundraising for a cure, I shake it off because we can’t quit. I also looked to see who the Saint of the day is today. It’s St. Peter Claver, a Spanish Jesuit priest, who left Spain to minister to the inhumane treatment of slaves and to bring attention to the wrongness of it. His kindness, sense of what is right, and compassion toward others is beyond humbling. St. Peter is a good saint to watch over my cousin, Jim, as he takes up his cross in the fight against polycystic kidney disease (PKD). Jim is a fireman and a great family man. I’m pretty sure, too, St. Peter will have a staff of lady angels named Mary Jane, Sister Mike, and Joan watching over...
Read MoreCelebrity Organ Donors
It’s always helpful and humbling to families like mine when a celebrity is an organ donor. It brings awareness to the public of this great noble gesture. Because to be an organ donor is the greatest thing you can do for your fellow man in the event of a sudden or unexpected death. Most of us have heard or met someone with a Cinderella story, especially in novels, who have a rich uncle that left them a fortune. Maybe it’s a million dollars in cash, or a big fancy castle, or a piece of jewelry so rare and exotic that their life is changed forever with this lucky windfall. It doesn’t even compare to the way a person (and their loved ones) who have been on the waiting list for a life-saving organ transplant feels when they receive a call that a “match” has been found. A “match” that can save their life. I’ve done an Irish jig when my mother and then my sister received such a call. You can’t even imagine the gift it is! But, the point is: Anyone who is an organ donor is a...
Read MoreWho Is In Control?
A THOUGHT FOR TODAY: Courage is the price that life exacts for granting peace. The soul that knows it not, knows no release from little things. -Amelia Earhart, aviator (24 Jul 1897-1937) Oh, how hard it is to find peace and to be courageous when fighting a disease! Oh, how in awe it is when we see it done! Amazing Grace, how sweet it is . . . I posted this quote recently on The Reluctant Donor’s Facebook page along with the three sentences of my thoughts. Many people ‘shared’ and ‘liked’ which just goes to show how good Amelia Earhart’s quote is along with the truth about finding peace and courage when battling disease. HOW DO YOU HOLD IT TOGETHER WHEN BATTLING A DISEASE? My mother often answered this question for me. I asked her so many times through her battle with PKD. I recently found a letter from thirty years ago from when I also asked that question. I giggled at some of her answers. “With gritted teeth” “I swear” “I yell at your father” “One day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time” “With faith that better things are ahead” or “I ask Sister Mike to help me through” “The hardest thing is putting my life in God’s Hands! You know what a fighter I am and I have control but I don’t – I found that out when I was so sick!” “I had a good, long talk with the nurses.” “You give me great strength by telling me I have great strength and courage.” “I keep telling myself I’ve GOT to do it and it really does make it easier.” Thank you, Mom, for showing us the way . ....
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