If you get a knot in your necklace, most of us don’t cut it. The necklace would be ruined. Many times I get frustrated at knots in plastic bags and then I do reach for the scissors.
But I think Josephy Joubert’s quote, an essayist in the 18th century, was about relationships. It’s a great quote for quarreling families. It’s a great quote for troubled friendships. And, it’s a great quote for everyone.
Hurt feelings, heartaches, and arguments with people you love can lead to knots. Things escalate. People stop talking to each other. Time goes by. Revenge, bitterness and isolation result in broken relationships that seem like they can never be mended.
I called a good friend of mine yesterday, who was celebrating her 80th birthday. Reflecting on her life, my friend said her sister-in-law once told her something she never forgot, “Hurt feelings are a waste of time!” It made an impact on my friend because she realized there was a lot of truth to it.
I am blessed with good friends. Once when I was struggling with hurt feelings, another friend of mine suggested I draw a line in the sand and step over the line. Once I stepped over the line, I could leave all of the heartache behind me and never pick it up again. He also told me I could gulp a shot of good Irish whiskey if I needed it to step over the line.
Holding grudges was something my mother never did. She used to say when you did that you were only hurting yourself, “Life is too short to waste it.” I wonder now if it was because she was a teenager when her mother died. Mom saw a lot of people she loved die of polycystic kidney disease (PKD) before dialysis and transplantation and before Mom began her battle with PKD. Maybe that’s why she was so wise.
Estrangement from someone you love reminds me of another quote. “Be careful what road you’re traveling down, you might get there.”
Completely alone.
Life – it is precious, short and absolutely Divine. It is powerful to take responsibility for your feelings. Incredible courage is required to forgive and live. It’s not for wimps.
By the way, I didn’t gulp a shot of whiskey when I stepped over that line in the sand. With alcoholism rampant among the Irish, I didn’t need more problems. But, I did let it go.